Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
you made out with another girl for some wings
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
