Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
You ate ashes out of my bong
Randomize
