My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize