a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
