Having a random hookup so left but love u
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
