i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
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