she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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