Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
