i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I miss vodka workout Fridays
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
