Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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