It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
