Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
