Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
dude i'm inner monologue high
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
