So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
We talked him into tasing himself.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Randomize
