just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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