i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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