Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
