i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
