just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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