we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
