I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Text me some of your sweat
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