Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
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