is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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