I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
The adults are the big ones right?
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
