New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
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