my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
