i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
