Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
