Do you still have your period?
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
