At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
