Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
You made out with two different species that night
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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