Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
