Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
