what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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