found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize