Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Randomize
