AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I checked into jail on foursquare
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize