I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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