is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
