So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize
