My hand turned me down
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
