just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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