Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
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