I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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