You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
