I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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