Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize
