TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
