Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
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