ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
