I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
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