Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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