Me too!
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
