Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
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