Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
